The Smile Books

The Smile Book Series

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Book 1

The Smile that Warms my ever Changing Mind

Book 2

The Smile and the Shock of Blonde in the Night

Book 3

The Smile and a Mind’s Tail


Book 1

The Smile that Warms my ever Changing Mind

My name is Luke and I am an animator and artist. Since 2003 my work has become a mixture of simple line and colour. I am always looking and exploring the possibilities of saying something through shapes. Since graduating I have done a number of paintings. I have incorporated some of these into the final book. From graduating I have been struggling with mental illness. This book is the story of everyday thoughts, my dreams and darkest visions from that place. The book will contain words, images and honest feelings about that time. 

 I wanted to say thank you to everyone I have met along the way. I know at times I was not around a lot and I missed some time with people. I still find it difficult to put into words what happened. Perhaps this book is the only way I can do it. Everything seemed to make sense, but I have changed some what since then. Although there are days when I get close to feeling as I did when I was twenty. I just miss the kind of belief I had back then. The amount of belief was sharp and real.

 I have gone through many changes in the last thirteen years. Some of the hardest times were the ones alone. Fighting my own thoughts, and fighting between the bad and the good parts of myself.

Certainly I have together with my mental illness lost sight of a lot of things. Forgetting about people I should always keep in my mind, and held their memory there as a reminder not to stray away from myself.  Although in real terms I have not done that many bad things in my life at all it still felt like I was not on the right plain. The mind is truly bizarre and I don’t think I can ever understand some things about myself. The ones I know or I thought I knew have no bearing anymore.  Feeling and knowing the changes it’s hard to come to terms with these new forms inside my head. A lot of them I know do not exist and should not exist but they seem to be real.  So what does it say about myself. That I am flawed like everyone else. That I feel doubt like everyone else. That no one is invincible. You can be strong in those younger years but nothing can prepare you for the future of adulthood. That I failed more times recently than I can remember, but there is still some hope. Hope that if you keep trying through all of it I might just be ok.

Each chapter is a short idea I have had for a film. The memory of that time and the thoughts that surrounded it. I have to explain in advance that some of these ideas and writings may be fractured. My thoughts were not always clear but are much better now.

 

Synopsis

Not saying goodbye. Then held, and in a hold of someone I never knew. As if I was finally saying goodbye. From this hold, the death, vulnerability and failure we all go through. Trying to show the complexity of a person. All the interactions and the way we hold each other in a world that just wants to dumb down everything. We are all complicated, flawed and unique. The complexity as best represented in line and movement. The affect of all the smiles in the world, and how they change the mind everyday.

Chapter List

1. Today Is Like No Other The Other Is Out Today

2. Everything Is Different

3. Crassness, Crudeness And Conformity

4. The Hands That Cut Down The Hands

5. A Mind's Tail

6. Anxiety, Depression and Panic Attacks

7. The Belt of Chaos

8. Defined By Nothing

9. Reality Bleed 

10. In Dreams

11. The Smile


Book 2

The Smile and the Shock of Blonde in the Night

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Chapters

  1. It’s a Name

  2. Haemorrhage

  3. Black, White and then the Greys

  4. Girl with the Zimmer

  5. Making a Moment of Melancholy

  6. The Three Pound Smile

  7. The Lady with Cute Czerwony Hair

  8. Frankly F

  9. Walk Scrapes

  10. Anhedonia Revolt

  11. Burnt from Floor to Ceiling

  12. Anhedonia Sleep

  13. The Complexity Channeling Chelsea

  14. Based on Nothing

  15. Dreams of a Soul

  16. The Pariah

  17. Tired Dreams

  18. Behind the Eyes

  19. I Wake to Calm

  20. The Smile and the Shock of Blonde in the Night


Book 3

The Smile and a Mind’s Tail

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Chapters

  1. A Mind’s House

  2. In a Small Car

  3. Spun

  4. Walk on the Wild Side

  5. Orchard/ Forest

  6. The Pool

  7. Pub

  8. Street Wise

  9. A Mind’s Tail

  10. Back in Mind